
















As acting president of the Meh! club I don’t even have to tell you what I feel about Valentine’s day, but if you’re really eager to find out dial 080C-YNI-CISM and my secretary will be happy to fill you in on that while chewing loudly on stale gum. At no stage during school was I ever Glen Coco of the class and when I was finally rid of my braces and the dandelion weed under my armpits I then promptly acquired a geek boyfriend who brought me flowers every single day and 6 years later I ended up marrying him. So this card design collaboration with Beyond Retro (along with Bip Ling, Mademoiselle Robot and Fashion Editor At Large) is really for some kitsch fun, and of course a little contribution to the British Heart Foundation (£1 of all sales will be donated). So next time you’re in don’t forget to pick one up – I sent one to my baby brother last week and he claims he’s still picking up glitter hearts from his keyboard, everytime loving me just a tiny bit less…
BTW, could anyone recommend a tailor in London? The Aquascutum coat I picked up is all great except the 80′s power shoulders. I got rid of the pads but it still makes me look like I attacked the wrong end my my mummy’s closet. Help!












Right, I will now embark on a mini quest with the objective of sussing out cool shops/boutiques in London; if I can’t get my rear lumps to a gym this Olympics of a year then I might as well power-jog (or bus it, whatever) to places where I can actively practice the art of wallet-ry restraint and tone my forearm with the beast that bears the name of Canon.
Where else than START London to commence on such majestic quest? On my pre-Christmas visit I buckled for this little Charles Anastase polkadot number and decided it wouldn’t hurt to try it on, for what good is restraint when there is no direct challenge, non? I stepped out onto the dressing room landing to scrutinize myself in the mirror – the too-tight sleeves embossing polkadot craters on my arms (think it was two sizes smaller, come to think of it) – clearly not a pretty sight as the shop advisers all scurried away to attend to a very un-straight shoes-display. As I was twirling, drunk with denial, the mirror suddenly wedged open and Mr Philip Start clambered out from what apparently was a stock room, and for a second I saw myself as a dapper man in an especially well-tailored suit (hello, Mr Start) and peed a little. Guess that was my own special inaugural starter pistol for the quest, so to speak.