Warning: above photo paints a ridiculously ‘clean’ picture of situation… infuriating actually.

Welcome to chapter eleven of Help! My cat ate my keyboard: 1,001 Fashion Blogger Excuses. In previous chapters we covered: ‘My husband is taking blurry outfit pictures because he wasn’t fed’, ‘I’m in a different country and forgot to pack my blogging PJs’, ‘I have a life, I bought it at the pharmacy’, and most recently, ‘I lost confidence in blogging and un-grew balls that help with charging on’. This one is called ‘Eczema: wrestling with Wolverine‘. It was a few weeks back when I noticed a small dry patch on my arm – usual stuff, but what at first started as niggling irritation gradually developed into a violent itch, and next thing I knew it had flared up to my face, neck and torso. I know my body’s a bit of an attention wh*re, but this was truly something else – had I gone and shaved my head and attacked the tripod with an umbrella, it still would’ve brought the WTF factor down a smidge.  I won’t go into much gory detail – in a nutshell, for the most part of the past three weeks I was on a Jekyll & Hyde cycle, tearing myself apart during the night and then weeping over it come dawn (Hyde would like a tranquilizer gun for Christmas). I’ve tried every spell in the book – Eastern and Western medicine, organic and steroids, voodoo and prayer… So far it’s subsided a little but I’m still on a bit of a yo-yo, and while I’m in the ‘up’, I thought I’d drop by and let you in on why I’ve been gone for so long.

It’s truly surprising how the concept of ‘beauty’ can be so literally skin-deep, and self-confidence as equally fickle. I shrank like a sweater in a wrong wash-cycle and thought a whole lot about books with damaged book-covers. Makes you reconsider your own story, really, especially when you’re the author of a diary that explores skin-deep treasures… Anyhoo, bottom line is, don’t take your health for granted, dear readers. And remember, you are what you eat (i.e this eczema is the sobstory of my body trying to turn into a Snickers ice cream bar).

On a plus note, I am now an expert in cover-up makeup and should any zombies from the Walking Dead need assistance in appearing fairly human I am available in the evenings and weekends, so call me maybe.