Leather ‘Ryder’ bag – JOSEPH

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Created for
JOSEPH

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creative direction & product photography SHINI PARK photography SIMON SCHMIDT assist VALENTINA STANDHARTINGER

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linen suit JOSEPH trainers EYTYS bag ‘Ryder’ bowling bag JOSEPH
Practicality is the name of the game, and JOSEPH knows it like a seasoned quarterback. The new bag & leather accessories collection borrows from the boys but also a nod to uniform, both things – I’ll be honest – that make me swipe right*. That isn’t to say, that the pieces are to be taken too seriously. On the contrary, the Ryder is a stellar upgrade to the everyday work bag with a twist of bowling, the Mortimer a versatile everyday clutch, and don’t even talk to me about the how clam-shaped Cosmetic Pouches with contrast stitching remind me of Linguine alle vongole with a glass of dry Chardonnay.

The trick is in refreshed essentials: the bucket bag gets a new ‘do.

*Technically, I do not have first-hand experience with dating apps, given the 12-year relationship, but the single millenials in the office say that’s what kids do these days.

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dress JOSEPH,
sliders, leather ‘Mortimer’ bag JOSEPH

Joseph

The messenger
There’s a crispness to the Mortimer that smartens any frumpy getup (everyday in this dank London weather). The zips are nifty too, swipe left into a wristlet, or zip right to convert into a boxy shoulder-strap.

Break up an all-black look with an oversized shirt, finished off with graphic accessories.

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Dress – JOSEPH. Shoes – Celine.

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‘Ryder’ Bowling Bag – JOSEPH

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Top – Helmut Lang. Skirt – Zara (similar). Boots – Stuart Weitzman

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creative direction SHINI PARK photography assistance SIMON SCHMIDT created for STUART WEITZMAN

You click, you add to cart, you open two more tabs, maybe a few more… add more stuff into baskets, rip a bit of your eyebrow out, chant ‘Velvet booties’ enough times to make it sound alien, Google “Is velvet sexy?”, land on Henry VIII’s Wikipedia page, cobble together a Bloody Mary from leftovers in your fridge… open more tabs…

See, sometimes, just sometimes, it’s nice to unplug yourself from the online shopping rut. For the sake of sanity, for the sake of you poor readers having to read that first paragraph. So out I went, equipped with a sturdy pair of boots, a bottle of water, a torch and a can of jungle bug-spray (how does one do this again?). I headed to the Stuart Weitzman flagship on 200 Regent Street, fixated on scratching the Velvet booties itch, but also because I wanted to touch EVERYTHING. Because opening 243 tabs wasn’t an option at home. I WANTED CHINESE BURNS ON MY ARMS FROM SHOPPING BAGS.

Top & sleeves – Emma Charles. Skirt – Dagmar. Boots – Stuart Weitzman.

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Dress – Emma Charles. Coat – Mango. Heels – Stuart Weitzman

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It’s incredible how easily you forget how much fun it is experience a store, to dip into the visual universe that no doubt many heads joined to bring about. This one is my ideal New York apartment: Sleek shelving, modular benches on minimal low-pile carpet and herringbone wooden peeking through. I did what I did best and open as many tabs as I could, just so I can say I made a throne at Stuart Weitzman and sat in it in thigh-high boots.

Dress & sleeves – Emma Charles. Boots – Stuart Weitzman

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creative direction SHINI PARK photography assistance SIMON SCHMIDT created for CALVIN KLEIN
Top – Calvin Klein. Bag – Calvin Klein. Jeans – Zara

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“My superpower? Awkward.”
“What’s awkward?”
“No, that’s my superpower. Inducing awkwardness.”
*awkward silence*
“Okay.”

At the start of a recent phone interview I was dealt this ice-breaker question, which – for all means and purposes – I wrecked. I basically GLUED TOGETHER any ice at this point and the rest of the interview was downhill from there. When I was 14 this would have brought me to hot tears, and would have faltered in my full skinny, gawky glory. Believe me, I had the full set: the braces, the cheap glasses and a social aptitude that of a blind mosquito.

However, from a certain point in my life I started being able to use this awkwardness to my advantage – accidentally at first – and found it the most exhilarating superpower in my arsenal (right next to being sexay). It wasn’t easy to hone, probably because you can’t hone it – I’m still awkward AF, but when used right it’s magic. It’s a truth serum at times, and in others, a douchebag survival tactic. (Asking “are you poor?” with genuine concern works EVERY TIME) (However, this has now morphed into a bit of a running joke on Snapchat @Sparkncube)

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Dress – Charlie May. Leather Trousers – Calvin Klein Jeans Capsule. Bag – Calvin Klein.

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I suspect that this is one of the reasons why I was drawn to this Calvin Klein pony-hair number so much. Its slightly awkward size and shape is reminiscent of my past (and admittedly still, present), but flaunts its personality and functionality in the way it knows best. In simple terms, this bag fits everything (including a proper book, for once) and goes with practically anything. Even douchebags like me.

Top – Calvin Klein. Bag – Calvin Klein. Jeans – Zara

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Dress – Exhibit. Top – JHZane. Bag – Valentino via Farfetch. Boots – H&M x Margiela

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creative direction SHINI PARK photography assitance SIMON SCHMIDT created for FARFETCH
bag VALENTINO

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There is a crisp, fresh quality to the air, and the fume of Pumpkin Spiced Latte is lingering within the tube network. Heck, London, I was only gone for about a week. To make matters worse, I’ve had to ditch my only pair of socks in a trashcan in SoHo because it was still balls-degrees in New York and they wouldn’t fit in my vintage Chanel bum-bag. Hence, sock-less in 5°c Heathrow. Trick or tootsies, anyone?

It’s the season of holidays and clumsily thumbing through the Hallmark category boxes at the pound-shop. Happy ___ [insert from below: Halloween, All Saints day, Remembrance Sunday, Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Boxing Day, Bank Holiday because-why-the-frick-not Day, New Year’s Eve…etc] The days in between don’t even matter. Alas, what does November 16th mean to you? It’s like when all the funny bits are in a movie trailer, so you don’t bother watching the actual movie.

coat WAVEN leggings ZARA heels CHRISTIAN LOUBOUTIN bag VALENTINO

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poloneck UNIQLO earrings MANGO jeans ZARA sleeves JHZANE bag VALENTINO

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Well, if you know me enough by now you’ll know, that this is the day I declare a holiday from holidays – a very happy un-holiday, if you will – a celebration of the smaller days. Buy that gingerbread house now, knock on someone’s door tomorrow and ask for treats, and buy that Valentino bag I’ve been waiting forever from Farfetch, gift-wrap it and write a ‘Hey sexy. From Me’ card with some Easter bunnies on the cover. #SmallDaysMatter

Polo-neck – Uniqlo. Jeans – Zara. Sleeves – JH Zane. Bag – Valentino.

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creative direction SHINI PARK photography assistance SIMON SCHMIDT created for STUART WEITZMAN
Trousers – Zara. Boots – Gigi for Stuart Weitzman

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Is this a trick question? I’m being serious PLEASE HELP. It seems I’ve managed to change lanes while swapping out the Alanis Morissette CD and now there are new kids in town, going very fast, and I don’t know their names. It was either Gigi or, YOLO or something like that.

Fine, I have received enough verbal pamphlets from my more clued-in chums over samosas and beers to have vaguely mapped out the sort of rock-paper-scissors-lizard-Spock thing involving a family called the Kardashians, and Gigi is a supermodel/mastermind footwear craftsman somewhere in that equation. Am I getting this correctly? I have – kid you not – walked, run, driven, hiked… and practically swum in these Stuart Weitzman Gigi boots, without a single blister. So, logic tells me, that Gigi is not just a pretty face. I realise this is like when my mother saw my first boyfriend’s array of chains running from his wallet to a hook on his low-slung jeans and asked him if his family sold hardware. Jumping to conclusions is my favourite session at the gym. Also, hereditary.

Sweatshirt – Zara. White eyeliner – Dolce & Gabbana

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Cashmere polo – JWon . Reversible bomber – Kenzo x H&M. Skirt – Paul & Joe. Boots – Gigi for Stuart Weitzman

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knit STELLA MCCARTNEY leggings ZARA shoes GIGI FOR STUART WEITZMAN

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The reality is, these are ass-kicking boots. For instance, I kicked 984km (611mi) ass of road the other week in these very pair, trekked on my very first snow atop an Alpine lay-by, and proceeded to drive through three different countries (more on this later). From the looks of it, I could’ve run for president too, given some (read: one) of the candidates basically resemble a deflated whoopee cushion. Remember to vote, kids.

They also come with a cause: Stuart Weitzman has pledged to build three schools in Ghana, Guatemala, and Laos with the charity Pencils of Promise. Ass. Kicked.

Knit – Stella McCartney (similar). Leggings – Zara. Boots – Gigi for Stuart Weitzman. Top – Ivy Park.

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